Twisted Jenius

prettycoolwebcomics:

The Snail Factory is a Pretty Cool Webcomic by Ari Bach / aribach! It updates once a week on Mondays, though the comic is currently on hiatus while the author pursues some other projects.

The Snail Factory is responsible for creating the various types of snails in the world. What, did you think they were part of some natural biological process? Don’t be ridiculous! How else could you get varieties like the Wooly Snail, the self-combusting snail, or the snail with teeth? People these days, not knowing where their snails come from.

Within the walls of the factory dwell a great and bizarre variety of creatures, from sentient mold to a man made of razors to magical wishing owls, all overseen by the CEO Dr. Breign. Sure the conditions are horrible, you’re paid in coupons for the in-factory store, and it’s likely that you’re similar enough to a tool or food item to be used or eaten, but… well, I’d say leave, but you know how scary those brand loyalty people can get. Better to just do your job.

Dark and surreal, Bach is delving into some pretty wild stuff for this comic, but it’s done well and with enough thought to be more than random nonsense. Despite how grim and bizzare the setting (and characters, and themes) can be, it’s also ridiculous enough to get plenty of humour from the pages, and is certainly a story where I recommend checking the artist comments for an equally good laugh. And I don’t think it would have the same effect if the art wasn’t so great and detailed; when you can make a character made entirely out of razors and give them expression though angle and dialogue alone, there’s some pretty definite skill going on.

That said, The Snail Factory may not be for everyone, but if you are a fan of the bizzare and dark humor then it’s certainly worth a look through. And if you like it, consider checking out Bach’s other projects: The humour blog facts-i-just-made-up, which features humorous anecdotes based on pictures and news from around the web, or the recently published sci-fi novel Valhalla, which features ultraviolence, allusions to Norse mythology, and cybernetic insect weapons / empathetic companions.

The Snail Factory contains harsh language, violence, disturbing imagery, and a recent storyline touching on some of the darker aspects of WW2, and is recommended for older teens and up.

facts-i-just-made-up:

stained-saint:

facts-i-just-made-up:

VALHALLA E-BOOK GIVEAWAY!!!Many have written in to say that they’d love to read Valhalla but lack the funds. I’d like to give those people an opportunity to get one, so if you’re among them, this is your chance! Five e-book copies are up for grabs:All you need to do to enter is tell me what kind of Tikari you’d have. What’s a Tikari? This is:

In Valhalla, one of the most useful weapons and tools is called a Tikari. It’s a robotic insect that links into your brain to function as a new body part. It can see for you, hear for you and more. It can transform into a weapon like a knife or even sword, and it can be any kind of insect or color the owner wants. In the book, they fit inside your chest when not being used, but for the purposes of this contest they can be any size you wish. In the novel, Violet has a purple robber-fly tikari that turns into a bowie knife. Other characters have moths, mantises, butterflies, caterpillars, and any insect imaginable that turn into daggers, swords, spades, scythes, anything they wish. So to enter, just invent your own. What you would want to have. I recommend reblogging this post with your Tikari listed in the comments. Name the kind of bug, color, and type of weapon it turns into, or better yet- DRAW IT! Let’s see what kind of Tikaris you can dream up!On the last day of February 2014 I’ll look through the notes and randomly pick five winners, and will inform them via ask box.Have fun, be creative, and may the odds be ever in your- No wait wrong novel. Good luck!The fine print: You enter the giveaway by stating your Tikari preferences. You do not need to draw your tikari to win. I’ll randomly pick five winners to receive the Valhalla e-book for free. You will need to have your ask box open for me to inform you if you win, and I’ll eventually need your email address to deliver the prize. If you win but cannot be contacted, the prize will be given to another randomly selected winner. Five copies will be awarded. This giveaway is not associated with Tumblr (including, without limitation, that it isn’t administered, sponsored, or endorsed by Tumblr) and all entries are giving information to Ari Bach, not Tumblr. Winning the contest does not entitle the winner to any sexual favors by the author. Tumblr is fully released by every entrant from any responsibility related to the giveaway. Giveaway is limited to persons 18 or older, and is limited to the United States. Reblogging this post is not required to enter or win, nor are following any of my blogs nor liking this post. This giveaway in no way constitutes a non-genuine social gesture and does not use tumblr’s features as an entry method. Prizes are valued at $6.99 each. All Tikaris appearing in Valhalla and any sequels have already been designed. No tikari presented here by a contestant will be used in the novels, and any similarities between contestant designed tikaris and tikaris appearing in the books or films made based on the books is coincidental. That means I’m not gonna steal your tikari and if one of mine resembles yours, it’s not because I stole it. I designed them all like 4 years ago. So there.

Well this is interesting since I have no clue what the book is about. I’d take that the Tikari can transform into ANY kind of weapon. My Tikari would be a big, teal with orange and grey highlights, Sunset Moth which would sit on my wrist and transform into a powerful compound bow with unlimited ammo. :) I’ve always had a thing for long-range weapons and the compound bow seemed like the most efficient. I’d may come with a drawing laters.

I knew I forgot something! Here are the book details:
VALHALLA: An epic sci-fi action novel
Violet MacRae is one of the aimless millions crowding northern Scotland. In the year 2330, where war is obsolete and only brilliant minds are valued, she emerges into adulthood with more brawn than brains and a propensity for violence. People dismiss her as a relic, but world peace is more fragile than they know.  In Valhalla, a clandestine base hidden in an icy ravine, Violet connects with a group of outcasts just like her. There, she learns the skills she needs to keep the world safe from genetically enhanced criminals and traitors who threaten the first friends she’s ever known. She also meets Wulfgar Kray, a genius gang leader who knows her better than she knows herself and who would conquer the world to capture her.  Branded from childhood as a useless barbarian, Violet is about to learn the world needs her exactly as she is.
For sale now at the following locations:
Barnes and Noble Nook
Barnes and Noble Paperback
Amazon Kindle
Amazon Paperback
Publisher eBook
Publisher Paperback



 Woodlouse Tikari, that turns into a battle mace! You can also just chuck it at people.

facts-i-just-made-up:

stained-saint:

facts-i-just-made-up:

VALHALLA E-BOOK GIVEAWAY!!!

Many have written in to say that they’d love to read Valhalla but lack the funds. I’d like to give those people an opportunity to get one, so if you’re among them, this is your chance! Five e-book copies are up for grabs:

All you need to do to enter is tell me what kind of Tikari you’d have. What’s a Tikari? This is:


In Valhalla, one of the most useful weapons and tools is called a Tikari. It’s a robotic insect that links into your brain to function as a new body part. It can see for you, hear for you and more. It can transform into a weapon like a knife or even sword, and it can be any kind of insect or color the owner wants. In the book, they fit inside your chest when not being used, but for the purposes of this contest they can be any size you wish. In the novel, Violet has a purple robber-fly tikari that turns into a bowie knife. Other characters have moths, mantises, butterflies, caterpillars, and any insect imaginable that turn into daggers, swords, spades, scythes, anything they wish.

So to enter, just invent your own. What you would want to have. I recommend reblogging this post with your Tikari listed in the comments. Name the kind of bug, color, and type of weapon it turns into, or better yet- DRAW IT! Let’s see what kind of Tikaris you can dream up!

On the last day of February 2014 I’ll look through the notes and randomly pick five winners, and will inform them via ask box.

Have fun, be creative, and may the odds be ever in your- No wait wrong novel. Good luck!

The fine print: You enter the giveaway by stating your Tikari preferences. You do not need to draw your tikari to win. I’ll randomly pick five winners to receive the Valhalla e-book for free. You will need to have your ask box open for me to inform you if you win, and I’ll eventually need your email address to deliver the prize. If you win but cannot be contacted, the prize will be given to another randomly selected winner. Five copies will be awarded. This giveaway is not associated with Tumblr (including, without limitation, that it isn’t administered, sponsored, or endorsed by Tumblr) and all entries are giving information to Ari Bach, not Tumblr. Winning the contest does not entitle the winner to any sexual favors by the author. Tumblr is fully released by every entrant from any responsibility related to the giveaway. Giveaway is limited to persons 18 or older, and is limited to the United States. Reblogging this post is not required to enter or win, nor are following any of my blogs nor liking this post. This giveaway in no way constitutes a non-genuine social gesture and does not use tumblr’s features as an entry method. Prizes are valued at $6.99 each. All Tikaris appearing in Valhalla and any sequels have already been designed. No tikari presented here by a contestant will be used in the novels, and any similarities between contestant designed tikaris and tikaris appearing in the books or films made based on the books is coincidental. That means I’m not gonna steal your tikari and if one of mine resembles yours, it’s not because I stole it. I designed them all like 4 years ago. So there.

Well this is interesting since I have no clue what the book is about. I’d take that the Tikari can transform into ANY kind of weapon. My Tikari would be a big, teal with orange and grey highlights, Sunset Moth which would sit on my wrist and transform into a powerful compound bow with unlimited ammo. :) I’ve always had a thing for long-range weapons and the compound bow seemed like the most efficient. I’d may come with a drawing laters.

I knew I forgot something! Here are the book details:

VALHALLA: An epic sci-fi action novel

Violet MacRae is one of the aimless millions crowding northern Scotland. In the year 2330, where war is obsolete and only brilliant minds are valued, she emerges into adulthood with more brawn than brains and a propensity for violence. People dismiss her as a relic, but world peace is more fragile than they know.

In Valhalla, a clandestine base hidden in an icy ravine, Violet connects with a group of outcasts just like her. There, she learns the skills she needs to keep the world safe from genetically enhanced criminals and traitors who threaten the first friends she’s ever known. She also meets Wulfgar Kray, a genius gang leader who knows her better than she knows herself and who would conquer the world to capture her.

Branded from childhood as a useless barbarian, Violet is about to learn the world needs her exactly as she is.

For sale now at the following locations:

Barnes and Noble Nook

Barnes and Noble Paperback

Amazon Kindle

Amazon Paperback

Publisher eBook

Publisher Paperback

 Woodlouse Tikari, that turns into a battle mace! You can also just chuck it at people.

facts-i-just-made-up:

VALHALLA IS NOW FOR SALE!!!
And it’s 25% off!
And you can read the entire first chapter at the link!

facts-i-just-made-up:

VALHALLA IS NOW FOR SALE!!!

And it’s 25% off!

And you can read the entire first chapter at the link!

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

VALHALLA:
Violet MacRae is one of the aimless millions crowding northern Scotland. In the year 2330, where war is obsolete and only brilliant minds are valued, she emerges into adulthood with more brawn than brains and a propensity for violence. People dismiss her as a relic, but world peace is more fragile than they know.  In Valhalla, a clandestine base hidden in an icy ravine, Violet connects with a group of outcasts just like her. There, she learns the skills she needs to keep the world safe from genetically enhanced criminals and traitors who threaten the first friends she’s ever known. She also meets Wulfgar Kray, a genius gang leader who knows her better than she knows herself and who would conquer the world to capture her.  Branded from childhood as a useless barbarian, Violet is about to learn the world needs her exactly as she is.
On Sale February 13th. Pre-Order it now on ebook or paperback.

Why am I promoting this thing? Because I wrote it! If you like this blog you’re exactly 88% likely to enjoy the novel. -Statistics I Just Made Up

Bump




Hey, that’s no walrus; it’s a manatee! 

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

VALHALLA:

Violet MacRae is one of the aimless millions crowding northern Scotland. In the year 2330, where war is obsolete and only brilliant minds are valued, she emerges into adulthood with more brawn than brains and a propensity for violence. People dismiss her as a relic, but world peace is more fragile than they know.

In Valhalla, a clandestine base hidden in an icy ravine, Violet connects with a group of outcasts just like her. There, she learns the skills she needs to keep the world safe from genetically enhanced criminals and traitors who threaten the first friends she’s ever known. She also meets Wulfgar Kray, a genius gang leader who knows her better than she knows herself and who would conquer the world to capture her.

Branded from childhood as a useless barbarian, Violet is about to learn the world needs her exactly as she is.

On Sale February 13th. Pre-Order it now on ebook or paperback.

Why am I promoting this thing? Because I wrote it! If you like this blog you’re exactly 88% likely to enjoy the novel. -Statistics I Just Made Up

Bump

Hey, that’s no walrus; it’s a manatee! 

New Twisty’s Asylum Escapades video gives you a taste of what the game is like. 

And don’t forget to try Twisty’s Asylum Escapades yourself by downloading the game for free from the official site - http://asylumescapades.com/

I came to the conclusion that Twisty’s Asylum Escapades is the most deceiving game that I’ve ever played. I know that weird process deep-rooted in the mind of the average gamer that basically makes him avoid a game just because of the not really inspiring screenshots provided by the developer. Though today, I’m here to specifically let you know that this adventure created by a 5 years long effort of the 2 man indie studio Twisted Jenious, is indeed something you don’t want to miss…

indieplay:

Twisty’s Asylum Escapades is a 3D, single player, action adventure game. You play as Twisty; the disembodied floating brain with a mouth full of razor sharp teeth, as he makes his way through a bizarre mental facility, fighting enemies and solving puzzles in order to escape from the asylum. It’s a nod to single player games of the past and contains plenty of b-movie humor and creepy fun.

You can download the game for free from its official site- http://asylumescapades.com/

Check it out and enjoy the madness!

slime-minister:

Screeming Brain - 5KY3
facts-i-just-made-up:

creepsandcrawlers:

facts-i-just-made-up:

chinchillasurprise:

facts-i-just-made-up:

officialunitedstates:

facts-i-just-made-up:


VALHALLA PUBLISHED!!!
I’m proud to announce that my novel, Valhalla, has been picked up for publication by Harmony Ink Press and will be released as a paperback and ebook on February 13th!
It’s available for pre-order now, here for the paperback and here for the ebook. Expect me to spam the living heck out of this book in the coming months.

Just in case anyone hasn’t seen it. And thank you to everyone who’s promoted this thing!!

This guy is really intelligent and creative in everything he does you guys should check out his book if you’re interested in science fiction! 

Thank you very much!!!

OOH also this guy is the mastermind behind The Snail Factory. Which I’m sure you all know is brilliant. and if you dont know, you’re about to by clicking -this-. I really -REALLY- want this book but once again I have been foiled by bills. I swear to god next pay day I’ll get my chance

Thank you!!!

dude my respect for this motherfucker is through the roof snail factory is king

Thank you as well!!!




Although I’m obviously biased, I have to agree with the Snail Factory fans.  It’s always great to hear that others are enjoying the comic!

facts-i-just-made-up:

creepsandcrawlers:

facts-i-just-made-up:

chinchillasurprise:

facts-i-just-made-up:

officialunitedstates:

facts-i-just-made-up:

VALHALLA PUBLISHED!!!

I’m proud to announce that my novel, Valhalla, has been picked up for publication by Harmony Ink Press and will be released as a paperback and ebook on February 13th!

It’s available for pre-order now, here for the paperback and here for the ebook. Expect me to spam the living heck out of this book in the coming months.

Just in case anyone hasn’t seen it. And thank you to everyone who’s promoted this thing!!

This guy is really intelligent and creative in everything he does you guys should check out his book if you’re interested in science fiction! 

Thank you very much!!!

OOH also this guy is the mastermind behind The Snail Factory. Which I’m sure you all know is brilliant. and if you dont know, you’re about to by clicking -this-. I really -REALLY- want this book but once again I have been foiled by bills. I swear to god next pay day I’ll get my chance

Thank you!!!

dude my respect for this motherfucker is through the roof snail factory is king

Thank you as well!!!

Although I’m obviously biased, I have to agree with the Snail Factory fans.  It’s always great to hear that others are enjoying the comic!

New Twisty’s Asylum Escapades “let’s play” video, in Russian! 

And don’t forget to try Twisty’s Asylum Escapades yourself by downloading the game for free from the official site - http://asylumescapades.com/